I'm all shook up? - View From The North Stand
4:09pm Thursday 28th February 2008
AN 'earthquake' strong enough to mess up a couple of chimney stacks and bring a few paintings off the wall was nothing compared to the shockwaves thundering through Sunderland this week, after Liam Miller was sensationally transfer-listed.
All right, all right, I may have been hamming that up, but last week's column was a joke. A no-show in the newspaper as the Sports Editor had decided that reports of games that had actually taken place were more important than my inane banter, while the exclusive, all-singing, all dancing online only edition was among the worst things I've written since I was asked to write a 1,000 word essay on the inside of a ping-pong ball in Year Eight.
I was told by the Sports Editor, in no uncertain terms, to buck my ideas up this week.
But bearing in mind the Sports Editor and the writer of this column are one in the same, who am I to disagree?
Now where was I? Oh yes, Liam Miller.
A short, terse statement, probably written through gritted teeth by monkeys with typewriters buried deep in the vaults of the Stadium of Light, gave us four or five paragraphs of nothing, other than Liam Miller had been transfer-listed and was on the transfer list. But he could not move because the transfer window had closed, so he is available for loan to a Championship club.
This morsel of news in a fortnight of bilge sent the fans into a frenzy. Messageboards all over the region put forth their theories.
"He's constantly late...he refused to play in the reserves...something's gone on behind the scenes."
All I can say is, something HAS gone on behind the scenes - the timing is very odd.
A lot of stuff has gone on behind those 'scenes' over the last 11 years at the Stadium of Light, none of which we are privy to.
Chris Makin's rushed sale, the signing of Milton Nunez Tyson, the sale of an injured Mart Poom who made his Arsenal debut a week later, Milton Nunez Tyson, Nicolas Medina, Tom Peeters, Baki Mercimek, Milton Nunez Tyson, the list goes on.
Niall Quinn coming in was meant to break down the barrier between club and the supporters. So what's with the drip-fed news?
To be fair, Keane has spoken since, saying that Miller has been late to a few training sessions but has still got a future at the club if he sorts his punctuality out.
On-time or not, Miller can be an asset to Sunderland. He's been guilty of inconsistency, but we all know that on his day he can be a very important player. Those days are less frequent than they should be.
That may be the least glowing testimony from me since I saw David Bellion for the first time, in a reserve match against Newcastle United in 2002: "He looks the part. Quick, good close control. Shame he can't cross, pass, or shoot though."
We're away again on Saturday, and we all know what that means.
That's right, a lifeless, flat, miserable afternoon. I don't know what coach company we use nowadays, but they must pipe some kind of sedative into the air-conditioning. Away, we look a jaded shadow of the bombastic, flair-flashed home side.
But it's the same bunch of players, playing the same system. I don't get it.
Saturday is an ideal chance to break our torrid away form. We're playing the worst Premier League team since Sunderland: 2005-06 edition, and we've got to look to take three points from Pride Park.
If we can't make it there, we can't make it anywhere.
My final words are dedicated to the Sunderland Under-19 team, who are into the semi-finals of the FA Youth Cup after beating Charlton on Wednesday night. Well played.
On the night, 500 Sunderland fans made the trip to The Valley. If I owned a hat, I'd take it off to you all.
Instead, I watched the Boro cup match.
I made the wrong choice.